The Ramblings of an Easily Amused Fandom

aka "the quotes page".

Warning: May contain morbid, obscure, pervy, or otherwise weird humor. May also contain slash, in-jokes, caffeine, and peanuts. Some knowledge of battle story characters is advised. Typos are corrected as I fidn them.

Battle Story
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Misc.

Battle Story

Warning, Fan Madness

Tilly: I don't think Gambino exploded himself. I'm not sure *how* he did himself in.
Mystick: He probably stood too close to one of those "WARNING, PRESSURISED PANEL SYSTEM" thingies

Gambino Pt II

Mystick: In LJ you quoted me on how Gambino posibly died once too XD
Tilly: Yes! That killed me...even if it was meaaan.
Mystick: XD
Mystick: I thought it was pretty funny myself
Mystick: "What?! Gambino was squashed by a hydraulic?! Stop everything! Prepare warning labels for the zoids and send some to the Helic too! I will crush them with my own zoid! Not have it done for me by THEIR zoids!"
Tilly: stop iiiit...*dying*
Mystick: Killing souls is what I do best

Rocke attempts serious speculation on the first two quotes; we degenerate into bunnies

Rocke: Just going on other common suicide methods in anime, I'm thinking he either jumped off a cliff, drowned himself or shot himself in the mouth. Drowning probably the least likely since it's usually reserved for double suicides.
Tilly: Though battle story is rather traditional Japanese, especially in his case. So [seppuku] is possible.
Rocke: However, I also have this vague idea about suicide somehow involving the Zoid...
Tilly: Hrm, that'd depend on if he saw them as living.
Rocke: True. Because if he did, that would be double suicide and he should be drowning himself and his Zoid.
Tilly: *chokes and dies laughing*
Rocke: It's a very romantic way to die. So more appropriate for Shuu, really, but you know what those Battle Story pilots are like...
Tilly: Flinging himself off a cliff with the Gunbluster?
Rocke: Yep.
Tilly: ...so much for serious.

Tilly: You've seen the Bunny Suicides books, right?
Rocke: Yes.
Tilly: ...the same thing with characters and Zoids...
Tilly: bad, bad, comic ideas.
Rocke: ...
Rocke: Aieeee.
Tilly: LOOK WHAT YOU DID
Rocke: Gunbluster suicides? ARGH.
Rocke: Not that it's a bad thing, just kinda brain-hurty. AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
Tilly: Gunblusters are hard to draw...
Tilly: Too many guns!

[Insert Witty Title Here]

Tilly: Poor Bird. Another guy who shows up for a bit and then disappears.
Tilly: And it's always people Shuu knows.
Tilly: Does he have some kind of minor character-sucking black hole following him around?
Bonnie: "Sscccwwllpp!" "Oh damn, there goes another one..."

Sequel.

Tilly: ...they NEVER tell about anyone's mothers. Like where the hell was Elena's?
ParanoiaPoppies: in the bathroom
ParanoiaPoppies: for 30 years
Tilly: But where did the others goooo? *flails*
ParanoiaPoppies: thats one big bathroom
Tilly: The bathroom of plot holes? Walk into it...AND DISAPPEAR.

Tilly: so...it reached critical mass after eating [Shuu's] mom, and followed him around as the black hole?
ParanoiaPoppies: mabye THAT explains the ludicrous power of the gunbluster
ParanoiaPoppies: its not good engineering, so much as it's powered by a singularity
Tilly: THAT'S what's in the "energy charger"!
ParanoiaPoppies: which eventually causes the moon to fall due to the massive gravitational attractions
ParanoiaPoppies: it's ALL SHUU'S FAULT

Red Rocket Red Rocket Red Rocket...

Tilly: *is glad she's an OLD Zenebas buff*
Tilly: That's probably why EL's wings were changed to red.
Tilly: Wolff: It's too Guylos-y! RED WINGS!
"Okay, okay, calm down, sir..."
Tilly: Considering how he keeps wanting Zoids that go FASTERRRR, I suspect he's overcaffeinated. Or likes yelling "swooooosh!" or "wheeeeeee!" when no one's looking.
Mystick: "We will now paint flame decals on our zoids."
"For what purpose sir?"
"To make our zoids go faster!"
"How does that work sir?"
"Don't ask me questions, I'm high on caffeine"
Tilly: "Just humor him, he'll forget by tomorrow..."
Mystick: "Charge!"
"Sir! You're going backwards!"
Mystick: great, now I'm going to be amused for DAYS by an over-caffeinated Wolff

Why Prozen sent Gun Tigers after the President, not his son

Mystick: Andrew should make a program where you see how much caffeine you give Wolff before he crashes his Energy Liger into Camford's Saberlion with much lecturing and "Yes aunty"
Mystick: "Yes Aunty. No Aunty. I won't do it again Aunty. I'll give back your Republic too. Yes Aunty"
Mystick: "Just wait till I tell your father!"
Mystick: "Dad blew himself up Aunty"

Hrm

Tilly: It seems the only entrance to the Dark Continent is through a swarm of stone pillars...the "brassiere D gate".

I love Babelfish, don't you?

Heric! Jenebas! Guyros!

Tilly: Iiiinteresting. If I'm translating correctly, the whole 500 Orudios was actually a false transmission to psych out Guylos after Krüger skewered the one Gilvy...which would make a lot more sense. Don't quote me on that yet, though. Either way, the idea of him writing "HERIC" [sic] in the sand in front of the downed Gilvy is too amusing...

"Krüger, you moron, you can't spell."
"Shut up, let's see you write better English."
Störmer: *scrawls "my name is Krüger, and I can't spell my own bloody country's name" in perfect English below the HERIC before collapsing*

Shuu the Scientist

Mystick: "I will set this trap for Störmer! I will raise his seat and when he lowers the canopy it will hit him in the head giving him a migraine thus making him unable to battle! Fear my scientific mind!"

Glowy Rock.

Mystick: And Emperor Guylos ties bits of deochalcum to the prisoner's legs and throws them into the pit
Mystick: After having starved the Zoids of deochalcum
Mystick: "I neeeeeeed to gloooooow. J-just a little bit! Waaaaaant glooooooow"
Mystick: Zoids going through deochalcum withdrawal XD
Tilly: Meanwhile, Elena is dropping bits to one of the Deadborders which is being all cute and friendly...
Tilly: "Stop that! You're ruining the doomy image!"
"Squeak squeak squeaaaak..."
"Oh, you poor thing, he's got you locked up too? Been feeding you people he got mad at? That can't be healthy..." Mystick: "Mr Guylos? I've been receiving complaints about the malnutrition of your Deadborders. Can you show me what you feed them?"
"But I feed them deochalcum every day!"
"I hear you've been feeding them people too?"
"Nonsense! Come, let me show you....."
Tilly: Deadborder: *chews happily on what looks like a Zenebas soldier's boot*
Mystick: "That looks like a soldier's boot"
"You must be seeing things. Lean forwards a bit more"
Mystick: And then Emperor Guylos pushes the SPCA rep in, causing the Deadborders to complain that he doesn't have any deochalcum tied to him XD
Tilly: "Aaaah! They're gonna eat me!"
Tilly: Deadborders: *stare*
Tilly: Like cats when they want a different food than the one you just got them :p.

Plotting

Tilly: My other [comic idea] involved the [new century] characters sitting around trying to figure out how to be popular like Genesis.
"Well, there's Wolff's hair. People like that."
"Lesse, suggestion 8...random nudity."
"...random nudity? WHO PUT THAT THERE?"
*pause*
"...if he's not got anything on under that doomy cape, I'm leaving."
Mystick: *scribbles* "Random nudity of physically appealing characters"

Tilly: Poor Shuu would probably get blamed for it.
Jammer: aww
Jammer: Shuu only wants his shiny Gunbluster though!
Tilly: Which can't really be naked.
Tilly: You could...pop a couple bits of leg armor off?
Jammer: hahaha
Tilly: Which don't really do anything...
Tilly: What ARE those bits for? Other than to look cool...and I just answered my own question.

Mystick: "We need a child protagonist!"
Mystick: "How about Shuu?"
"He's not a child"
"Yeah but he acts like one, did you see what he did to my Gilvader?"
"It's called a Gildragon now"
"Shut up Shuu!
"The horns are backwards too... does that make it fast?"
"Wolff, what have I said about you and caffeine?"

The Lamest Battle Story Joke Ever

Background: Rick has a fanfic team named Zeekdobers Ate My Baby, after Dingos Ate My Baby (I believe from Buffy). They showed up in one fic and then snowballed from there, demanding cameos in his other works and the works of others.

Joke: I was wondering how Elena would have escaped from Guylos' castle with a kid while everything was exploding...and then I wondered if she'd steal a Zoid, or one of the Guylos people that didn't hate her would, or something. And you'd want something fast, right?

Then one could say that Zeekdobers took her baby.

...to safety.

*dodges thrown rocks*

Colodie's Words of Battle Story Wisdom

Never pilot or combine with something called 'Phoenix'. Said things may be good at being reborn in flames. You however, are not.

Remember, your Zoid was made by the lowest bidder. If you're in the Guylos Empire, your Zoid was made by Ms. Edna's third grade class.

When leaving prototype Zoids unattended, you shall be instructed to employ 'The Club'.

The best-laid plans to rewrite continuity...

Tilly: I suspect [Elena'd] have been willing to split the continent to stop the fighting yet nasty enough to smack down anyone trying to restart it/make an issue of it.
Tilly: But then the meteors would have fallen on them all anyway!
Tilly: "Yay, we've finally acheived peace after over seventy years of-oh, CRAP, rocks."
Atrovenator: "Hey Bob, remember when I was going to tell you what "Deus Ex Machina" meant? Well,..."
Tilly: "It's kinda like that." *points at rock*
Tilly: "AAH! Our toyline's being canceled! Panic! Break the fourth wall!"

Too easy...

KAndrw and I were trying to figure out some Zoid character names. Winner and Weiner sound remarkably alike kana-ified, thus:

Kandrw: Winner Kid is definitely the most sensible name. At least so long as you and I know that he's really named for his remarkable prediliction for hotdogs. You know, or he likes boys. Whatever.

Tilly: Waugh, I don't need another person I know who helps me translate stuff trying to slash the characters involved :p.

Kandrw: Then it's decided - we shall know that Winner Kid really likes hotdogs, and presumably likes girls. Who could blame him - hotdogs are great. Many's the time I've been coming home from work at 10pm after surprise extended overtime, only to be overcome by the urge to pick up a hotdog from the hotdog vendor at the train station.

(Girls are also great, but thankfully there is no girl vendor at the train station)

[title]

Tilly: Ancient Zoidian weather forcasters!

"And tommorow, occasional rocks and a lot of ash. By Thursday we should have proper lava, so be sure to be ready to run away screaming leaving all your historic documents behind!"

Ligers and Backseats (Slightly More Coherent Typos Fixed Edition)

Tilly: [Shuu would] so go all mad scientist in old age, I bet.
Rantinan: hells yes
Tilly: And probably crack annoying jokes like the nudge nudge wink wink guy on Python...
Rantinan: say no more how's ya father?
Tilly: "Nice Shield Liger...hrm, two seats..."
Tilly: I think a Zoid would be all...

"what the HELL are you doing in my head? Stupid squishy organic life forms, OUT!" *fling*
"Nice liger...give back my clothes..."
"GRRRR." (I'll give them back when you learn how to divide, human!)

"This is another fine mess you've gotten me into, Shuu."
"Ah, I take it you like the new Shield Liger?"
"...shut up and find me some bloody clothes before I hurt you."
"no, mom, you and dad haven't been embarassing me again?"

Rantinan: just imagining hermann wolfing up behind the nakedness and complaining in teanage whine voice

"...just for that, you can catch the Shield Liger. Last I saw it, the little bastard was running for the border with my shirt in its teeth..."

Rantinan: heheheheheheheeheheheheheheheheheh
Tilly: That would be fun to explain.
Rantinan: why a shield liger is tryign to defect to the guylos empire with madame president's shirt in it's teeth

Prozen: I'm not even going to ask, but if you want your Liger back, it's going to cost you...
"screw the liger, give me my SHIRT!"
...thus, tensions between the two factions grow...

Warning: this breaks brains. That's why it's last.

The Gilvader's feathers bit is in reference to ponderings if wild ones would have down, which certain people somehow managed to turn traumatizing :p.

Jammer: I was telling Hatch yesterday how I wanted to see a shoujo Zoids story.
Tilly: How so?
Jammer: I dunno... just something with uber!romance, lots of pink, and cheesiness up the wazoo... plus mindless Zoid battles. XD
Tilly: Noooo... *pictured the battle story like that and exploded her brain*
Jammer: oops
Tilly: it hurtssss ;_;. Worse than Rantinan's "battle story as a crappy romance novel" paragraph...thing...that involved the phrase "~~eyes~~ a stare like twin masers"...
Jammer: x_o
Tilly: I can find the whole thing if you don't value your sanity.
Jammer: Can't say I've bothered much to worry about my sanity. XD
Rantinan: he threw her to the bed, its softness suprising her. With a stare like twin masers, he looked at her hungrily. "It's ironic, isn't it, that the Gilvader's feathers are the softest imaginable stuffing," he said, before taking to her like a black winged beast
Jammer: Ahhhh!!!! *falls over*
Tilly: I WARNED YOU

Models

[title]

Tilly: That's why I don't use the warning stickers.
Phelan: I don't use any of them
Tilly: I just use the occasional leftover faction one from old built Zoids I get.
Tilly: Gildy has a blue Zenebas label from Deathpion(?) that somehow got on my Heldy O_o.
Phelan: Maybe they're having an illict affair
Phelan: And instead of rings they traded stickers

The Ongoing Garninaru Saga

Explanation: Garninaru's cockpit was designed for the old-school pilots. When combined with the new mold, you end up with pilots that are holding hands...

Tilly: *points to Garninaru's pilots* They're in looooove :p.
Tilly: I don't know why that cracks me up so much...
Colodie: Not something one would expect too much. I don't think grubs are the most romantic things in the world.
Tilly: No...But now they are!
Colodie: Indeed.
Colodie: Liger pilots, mammals, they get lots of attention. But if two people want to be alone together, where to go? Grubs, grubs and lizards.

Tilly: I see Garninaru's pilots as the type to skip through flower fields, or something. Horribly cute things, because the last thing you'd expect from grubs is horribly cute.

And then their commander calls...

"Where are you two?"
"Uh...scouting!"
"The radar shows you're not moving. Is something wrong?"
"We're scouting by watching for stuff. Yes, stuff."
*visual pops on, their hair/clothes are all mussed up*
"Watching for what?"
"Uh...deadly static monsters, like Liger Zero X. See, we had a run in with one earlier!"

Colodie: One [gold] pilot is now in Brachio's cockpit.
Colodie: The other, Garns pilot invited him to move in for the time being.
Colodie: Gold's sitting on one's lap. I think the other may be jealous.
Colodie: Garns pilots suggested taking out the back gun and making it into an extra room or whatnot.
Colodie: There's a lot of room in the back, could probably seat 4 pilot comfortable.
Colodie: No restraints though, so...
Tilly: ...waaaaugh. Bad idea.
Colodie: Pilots could get into a lot of trouble back there...
Tilly: Poor Garninaru...
Colodie: "You took out my gun to do WHAT!?"
Tilly: Three pilots is bad enough...
Colodie: Yeah. Plus there's that "What am I, a minivan?" thoughs poor Garn might have.
Tilly: Mother dragging all her kids to school in one?
Colodie: Heh, poor surplus ones ending up being sold to some mother with lots of annoying kids.
Tilly: Poor Garninaru, it's becoming one big injoke.
Colodie: It's tough being a cute little grub.

And Dead Buster gets jealous...

Colodie: You can hold [my Dead Buster] hostage until you get a silver pilot.
"Give me the pilot, or the bug gets it!"
Tilly: Aw, that'd be mean! (Guylos, I am not.)
Colodie: And now I have an image of Dead Buster locked up in a tower, bemoaning his fate and wishing for rescue. Possibly somehow wearing a dress.

I'm never going to look at these Custom Blox the same way again I think.

It IS canon, I tell you!

Tilly: Pteras can floooat... [in Jashin Fukkatsu]
Rantinan: this makes me laugh more than it should
Rantinan: pteras and sinker, like two best friends
Tilly: Floating with a wing and fin linked?
Tilly: And then Zenebas gets mad and yells at them?
Rantinan: heh yes
Rantinan: yes exacly
Rantinan: and they sulk and go back to shooting to miss each other
Rantinan: since it's what seems to be happening on the back of the pteras box
Tilly: ...aha!
Tilly: So Pteras/Sinker is canon!
Rantinan: could be could be

Tomy supposedly cancels the Zenebas windups rerelease set

Tilly: bastards, illegitimate chickdees, sons of ubiquitous wrens!

Anime

Swords.

Königbreaker: I'm starting to think that Genesis is another word for POKE.

These Boots Weren't Made For Walking...

Mystick: The mystery of how Kotona's boots stay up has been solved
Mystick: Now if we could only figure out why she wears them in the first place
Colodie: Found a box of 500 in the ancient ruins of some department store?
Mystick: I personally think one of her ancestors lost a bet dooming her bloodline to wear ridiculous groin high boots for all eternity
Colodie: Hrm. The ancient curse of the boots of doom.

Closets?

Tilly: And I love how old lightup Zoids the lights are usually separate.
Tilly: I wonder why they took that out of Ultra...
Tilly: Maybe it's...um...a closet. For Moonbay to put stuff in!
Jammer: XD
Jammer: Walk in closet
Tilly: All the lights in Ultra's head go out...
"Whoops. Maybe these wires were important..."
*muffled cursing as Hermann trips on something*

[Witty Title Again]

Tilly: After the final four, Raven takes up performing in a traveling circus.
Tilly: Because then he can be as over the top and dramatic as he wants.
Tilly: What he doesn't realize is he's actually billed in the comedy act.

Crazy Genesis Origin Theory #3

http://www.creativeinsanity.net/zoids/media/screenshots/random/camfordsulky.jpg
Tilly: And is that sulky shot sulky or "I'm surrounded by idiots..."?
Rick: I suspect the latter, given that it's GF
Rick: And it's the army
Tilly: And she gets bored and sits...pretending to write out battle plans and actually drawing Zoids exploding things?
Rick: Writes stuff
Rick: A bit less obvious
Tilly: "And then the dragon Zoid killed them all, the bandits and idiots alike..."
Rantinan: so what you're saying is that genisis is the bad fic Camford wrote while trying not to go insane listening to her son and Kreuger wrangle?
Rick: ...Yes
Rantinan: all the stompies are dead, except for my man's and he is the ultimate stompy
Tilly: Dangit, I almost got orange juice up my nose laughing.
Tilly: And it's the enemy of the sky people...
Tilly: Helic was wind tribe-y.
Rantinan: yes
Rantinan: that would be my point
Tilly: This makes more sense than it should.
Tilly: Or maybe I really need sleep.
Rantinan: sleep is for the weak

Crazy Genesis Origin Theory #4

milicron: Very last episode we find out that this entire series occured in Vega's head after he got knocked out piloting the Fury in the last battle of of Zero.

"Wow, I had the strangest dream..."

And the last moments of the series is him trying to sell the idea to a producer.

"...the Zoids are powered by red goo that comes from giant trees, and they are operated by HUMAN SOULS... hello? hello? Dangit, hung up again!"

Fuzors, in summary

KAndrw: RD and Sweet have conflict
RD and Sigma have conflict
Blake broods
Rd fights poorly
RD gets lucky
Luke needs pants

Stop! In the name of well, not love or law. Good taste?

Mystick: It was quite bad
Mystick: I nearly typed Bus Stop as "Bust Stop"
Mystick: A secret police force after a series of serial offenders, SRDX Chris being on their Top 10 Wanted list

Bad Dubbing Fun

Tilly: But in that game poor O'Connell shows up randomly places to give Ban items.
Tilly: Including in towers full of nasty wild Zoids.
Tilly: Then again, you find Camford hanging out in the caves. I can see her (politely) telling off all the wild Zoids until they behave :p.
Tilly: Rudolph, on the other hand...I'm surprised the wild Zoids don't eat him.
Tilly: "Please put me down. Aaah. Help. Vaaaaan."
Mystick: "I can't eat this, he sounds weird"

Revenge of the Bad Dubbing

Tilly: Hermann is talking in monotooooone
Tilly: I think he's stuck :p.
Rantinan: he's like a stuck record player
Rantinan: give him a nudge
Tilly: Doesn't seem to have worked...
Tilly: He's now STUCK IN A YELLING MONOTONE
Steve: "Hey miracle boy! I can't seem to open my left eye, but I can't wait to see your next move! ;D"
Tilly: "Is he gonna make it? No, he's gonna die :D!"
Tilly: "Hermann, that's not funny..."

Misc.

Wait, are they talking about me?

Tilly: Hey, did you ever upload that page of quotes?
Mystick: Oh crap
Mystick: Forgot about that
Mystick: I was putting it into seperate colours though
Mystick: You can choose from dark army colours or Mk II colours XD
Tilly: Work on iiiit
Mystick: What's a suitable grey?
Tilly: EEEEEE?
Mystick: ?
Mystick: Oh wait
Mystick: you mean the hex code XD

The Manlyness Color Rating Wheel (TM)

Tilly: [Allstar] seems to be of the "allergic to anything cute" age.
Tilly: But doesn't complain at the pink Jäger...
Colodie: Heh.
Tilly: Maybe it's because it's magenta.
Tilly: Which is a bit less girly.
Colodie: Heh. I picture someone carying around a color wheel or whatnot labelled with the amount of girl-y ness, or lack thereof.
Tilly: "Paaaarty, we can't keep it pink, it's girly!"
"No, it's magenta. That can be manly if it's with black."
"Can't!"
"Can!"
Solid: ....................
Colodie: Hehehe.
Tilly: He eventually has to step in and settle it, I suppose.
Colodie: Perhaps he has the handy Manlyness Color Rating Wheel (TM)
Tilly: YES.
Tilly: "Hey, where'd you get that?"
"Military secret."
Colodie: Either that or he found it in one of those dungeon boxes.
Tilly: He'd claim it was a military secret anyway :p.
Colodie: Yes, muchly so.
Tilly: Maybe in the Panzer runs, since the passwords are all colors.
Allstar: Hey, gimme that!
"No! it's mine!" *holds above head because he's taller*
Colodie: I wonder if Solid would be the type to make a few... altertions. "What'd ya mean (insert favorite color here) isn't manly at all?"

How NOT to find sane Zoids fanfic!

KAndrw: search for "keeps his pants on"
Tilly: I wonder if that'd get any results...
Tilly: 526 records found for keeps his pants on!?
Tilly: ...I think the search broke.
KAndrw: unless every hit was prefixed by 'never' or 'fails to'