Fuzors, Summaries: Episode 2 - 1 + 1 = ?

Changes in the Japanese version are in italics, because daaamn there's a lot of them.

We start with action: mainly, a flashback to the battle from the last episode. An extremely annoying announcer guy introduces the "lean mean stomping team", the Dark Assassins (Dark Spiner and Killer Dome), and Black Impact (three charcoal Blade Ligers). Rastani, head of Black Impact, is cocky, but so are the Rattle and Malloy of the Assassins. They start the battle off without pause, calling on dramatic action sequence to combine the Killer Dome and Dark Spiner into Killer Spiner. Weirdly enough, "onboard cameras" give us a view of the combination, when later episodes portray it as Transformation Sequence-style instantaneous.

We know where this is leading, but Black Impact doesn't. Jackie charges, going for a Blade Attack and a quick kill. The Killer Spiner bounces his Liger off with a shield, flinging it back and breaking one of its blades. The Dome's claws spew gatling fire, and Jackie is down. Billy and Rastani head in for payback, then stop short when their guns have no effect on the shield. Rastani's order to hold back is too late, as the Killer Spiner shoots out its crabclaws on huge cables ("Dark Assassins Zoid Fuzor Attack!" being code for "Fly, my Giant Crabs!"), grabbing both Blade Ligers by the neck, waving them around before slamming them into the ground. The battle is over in one minute thirty-three seconds, and the Spiner poses victoriously.

"Fuzors? You mean...Zoids linking up?"
"Bingo. As you can see, it makes us virtually indestructible."

The Japanese version of this battle is nicely animated and better done overall, with a lot of fun vulcan action and Rastani putting up a lot more of a fight via a flying Blade Attack. The Killer Spiner also doesn't use a shield, instead lasering the Ligers out of the sky. The announcer is still annoying as hell, though.

Mach Storm is watching a recap of the battle between "Dark Impact" and the "Black Assassins" (oops). News lady exposits about the power rating of the Dark Spiner and Killer Dome—measured in "Zells", whatever those are—and how it's much higher when they fuse. (Look closely at the display readout on Mach Storm's computer: there's some really funny random English in it, such as "You're pushing me about!" and "That's impossible.") Helmut turns the TV off, saying it rots your brain. Sigma reacts by flailing...and flinging his coffee in the air. He's laughing, though, about how Rastani was "shot down in flames". RD wonders how the fused Zoids generated so much power, but he thinks the Dark Assassins don't stand a chance against him. It looks like he'll be getting a chance to prove or eat his words, being as Amy barges in soon after, telling them she's set them up for a "one wicked battle!". Guess who it's with.

We flashback to her talking to Rastani's father, telling him he can put money on Mach Storm's ability to beat the Dark Assassins. When he gets skeptical, she clings to an excessively-bandaged Rastani's hand and tries the Cute Girl approach:

"Mister Rastani, if there's only one thing I shall be remembered for during my brief time on this earth, it's to avenge your son's humiliating defeat. It is my destiny, sir! And I couldn't bear to fail you!" Some sobbing and a lot of Rastani blushing later (cooties!), dad is convinced, and the Amy bashers all whine that she's a slut. Because crying in front of a guy is totally the same as screwing him, am I right?

The rest of Mach Storm tease Amy for going to "such lengths" to get them a fight. She says she did it for the team, as Rastani's dad will pay them a lot if they win. Even RD is a bit suspicious, not wanting to fight the Dark Assassins and their Fuzor-ness now. Sigma thinks they're toast, and Amy starts to feel bad. Helmut says to call it off, and Hop points out that they can't: they're already in the news. The headlines, more like. News lady takes the broadcast live to Rattle and Malloy, who are bragging that they'll soon have a perfect 2-0 record thanks to their Fuzor Zoid technique. Mach Storm can use as many Zoids as they want to be "fair", Rattle says, not that that'll help them any. They'll see Mach Storm in the ring...that is, if they don't chicken out first!

Perhaps the fanboys don't like this series because it mocks them so well.

The Japanese version takes a different track: It cuts back to the base with RD returning through the showers. He wanders in to say hello because he thinks it's Sigma (what the feck?) and ends up surprising Amy and getting himself slapped. Sweet is Not Pleased, and instead of a battle recap we get them arguing while TV Announcer Lady interviews the Assassins. She eventually drags him out shopping, where they bump into Rattle and Malloy...literally, in Sweet's case. They act like asses and make fun of Mach Storm's logo, and the battle between teams is arranged after they piss Sweet off enough she punches them both. In the face.

There's none of the "Amy setting the fight up" deal that the English version has, which means we lose the change to hear Kamina's voice actor wibbling over a red-haired sniper girl years before Gurren Lagann existed.

The planning session doesn't have the researching bits, but the actual plan is longer, featuring bizarre SD graphics of the Zoids and an actual complex strategy.

Later in the evening, Rattle and Malloy are riding in a car driven by Burton, our Fake Evil Accent buddy from before. He's smirking at their clever setup until a curious Rattle interrupts, asking why Burton has such a hate-on for Mach Storm. He gets told to "please mind your own business" in the most nasty of polite ways, this being too early for such exposition.

Mach Storm have turned to research, hoping it'll give them some clue as to what to do and how the Fuzors generate so much power. The computer tells them they're doomed, Sigma opts for "totally screwed": simulations say that Zoids with the sort of Zell count the Killer Spiner has would shred their Zoids in a matter of seconds. Hop says they must break "the Fuzor Code", which one can only hope is less total bunk than certain other Codes. Amy tells them to chill out, happily reading a book that says "The History of Zoids"...with old-school 80s logo. Considering her overly interested expression, I suspect it's the hentai doujinshi version.

RD and Sweet, meanwhile, are on their way to a Zoids museum to do some old-school research. Liger Zero hops through the desert, Sweet telling RD and the viewers about how the museum has a database on pretty much everything Zoids, even from the days of the first prototypes. The sepia-toned graphics are less historical, just showing animation models already rendered for the series...though there's a suspiciously blue Blade Liger. ~~Hi, Arthur Borgman!~~

When they arrive, they discover it's not a museum, it's a library—and RD claims to be allergic to books. The Liger Zero is left lying outside the entrance, looking as bored as its owner. (Considering the place doesn't even have a card catalogue and they're digging through books by hand, can you blame him?) Sweet tries to keep RD reading, saying they might find even info on the legendary Alpha Zoid. He suddenly jumps to attention, exclaiming "Woah! Check this out! Can you believe this? A typo, do you see it?" It seems RD can read English, as the typo is "kichen". Sweet isn't impressed.

We're back to Savage Hammer's Evil Planning Group...hereafter, I will refer to these meetings as SHEPG. It's shorter. Sandra says she had a premonition RD would try going to the museum—what a complete waste of time. She still wants Blake to check up on him, which Blake would rather hear as "take care of him". Ooer. Her cat meows, and Burton suggests a toast. Sandra's contribution? Here's to the elimination of Mach Storm, once and for all.

Sandra's prediction is accurate indeed, because as we cut to the desert Sweet is calling the museum a "complete waste of time" too. The Liger's starting to overheat, and she scolds RD for not bringing it in for service often enough. By way of freaky convenient coincidence, they promptly run into a stranded truck and attached truck driver. His name is Danny T, Dan for short, and he's a mechanic...and he likes RD and the Liger Zero. Lots. Fanboy lots. Shuu and Gunbluster, "one sweet machine, clean lines, functional design, no fancy high-tech crud" lots. He begs RD to let him help out the Zero (he calls it a she, even though RD uses he), since he doesn't want it to get destroyed in the oncoming battle. RD and Sweet agree, and they head off for home...without Sweet, because the Zero has only two seats, and Dan needs room to do cool things to the Zero's systems with his laptop-o'-tinkering. She couldn't squish in next to RD why?

The Dark Assassins have moved up the fight's start time, though, and RD doesn't have time to go back for her. The Zero bounces for the arena post-haste, Dan asking RD how he expects him to work under these conditions. Maybe he feels the run cycle more.

Off in the arena, Helmut and Sigma stare down doom as the Dark Assassins fuse. Helmut doesn't lose his cool even as Sigma starts to panic and Amy is absent. RD arrives, telling Hop he'll explain the hitchhiker later, just give him an open comlink.

The Japanese version, meanwhile, has cut the entire library deal. Dan just appears and joins up with the team after he's done fanboying the Zero in disturbing ways, and Mach Storm are all at the fight from the start.

The Command Wolf scores a dead hit on the Killer Spiner to little effect, Helmut getting Giant Crab claw'd into the floor for all his level head. Sigma angrily tells himself to "think positive thoughts", as the Killer Spiner returns fire and RD knocks him out of the way of doom. He's not terribly grateful, considering the Zero's late, and RD is forced to flee further attack from Spinergatlings—

There's a brief cut to Amy, gloating about getting cash for setting the battle up. She finally starts to feel guilty, though, and goes to help.

—in the time it took her to ponder, the Boldguard is down and the Zero now on the run from the flying claws. Malloy gets a good lock with the main guns too, only to get bitten by Amy's Wolf. He swats her unceremoniously aside to the dismay of the König's legions of fans, giving RD time to strike laser claw...right into a shield. The Zero hits the ground hard, struggling to regain its feet with its joints whirring painfully. The Spiner stomps forward as Dan tries to upload things (what things?) to the Zero's computers in time.

The data completes its journey, and then—the Killer Dome pops off the Spiner. It goes flying through the air, landing on its back as the Spiner collapses. "The horror, the horror," Rattle comments, and the crab falls still. Annoying announcer man says that Mach Storm has pulled off "the win of the century!".

Meanwhile, Blake watches ominously from a window above. "It's only a matter of time, RD," he says, presumably until something nasty happens. Hrm.

The Japanese version is completely different once again. Not only is all of Mach Storm there, they're working together. The Wolves and Boldguard pelt Rattle and Malloy with heavy fire as they all close in. When the gatlings run out of ammo and the Spiner turns to lasers, Amy distracts it with missiles long enough for RD to get in a gravity-defying Strike Laser Claw to its back. This doesn't so much break the fusion as make the laser control go bonkers, and Amy goes down in the crossfire. The Dark Spiner, low on guns, launches its crabclaws, grabbing the Wolf and Zero in midair as they try for a Double Laser Claw. The Wolf goes down, but RD and the Zero hang on, determined to outlast the fusion time limit. They do, but the Zero collapses mid-victory-roar and the battle is ruled a draw. The only thing lost in all this reworking is the amusing "pop goes the Killer Dome" moment.

Sadly for Mach Storm's prize money dreams, the battle is later ruled a draw due to mechanical failure: it turns out Fuzors have a time limit, Sigma and Dan comparing it to running out of batteries. This lasts...well, if you thought Beast Wars dropped the time limit they could spend in robot mode deal fast, it ain't got nothin' on these Fuzors. Helmut says they should be grateful nobody got hurt, and Hop adds that they now know about the time limit deal. Dan's final comment is the most useful: he thinks they can modify and/or upgrade the Liger, giving RD a bit of hope.

Out in the desert, a completely-forgotten Sweet promises that RD is gonna PAY FOR THIIIIS.

My Thoughts

The main reason people pay attention to this episode is the massive difference between the English and Japanese versions. Those complaining about cuts: Remember, the English version came first, which technically means the Japanese version cut some things and added others, not the other way around ;p. The time difference makes for massive quality improvements in the animation, but the changes to fit the battles in make everything else feel a bit rushed. And surely the library gag was more fun than a cheap shower scene joke with Amy, and Sweet getting the team into a dangerous fight is a bit out of character? The better focus on Mach Storm's teamwork, however, is a worthy addition, once that I wonder may be in part due to fan complaints.

Really, "Mach Storm isn't half bad at teamwork" and "look, the Zoids get stronger when they stick together!" are about all one gets out of this episode, but it's got its good points. If nothing else, compare the fight scenes as proof the Fuzors animators improved.

Continuity fun: Watch Sigma's shirt in this episode. See Sigma's shirt change between blue and purple, sometimes in the same scene!

Previously: Knockover on Planet Zi
Next up: Enter the Fire Phoenix
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